MUD MONTH

 LETS THROW SOME MUD

It's that time of year, the ugly month, when the snow that has hidden all our lawn's imperfections has begun its annual recession exposing the repulsive underbelly beneath. April showers may bring May flowers but up north March only brings the soggy sodden brown muck commonly known as mud and when there's mud we all know it's time to pull on the boots and cover the furniture. It's mud month.

After a lengthy four-month stretch when our lawns and open fields have been beautified with a sparkling white blanket of snow it is now time for the protective winter shroud to be lifted and the dead body exposed. Glinting with mica like sparkles under sun-filled days and moon glowing nights

the view out my window is now dull and depressing. I know it's only temporary. I know the matted brown lawn hair will eventually get moussed up into a luxurious green bouffant.

There will soon be little spikes of color popping up through the dreary detritus of down trodden turf in the form of crocuses and daffodils and psychedelic tulips from Holland.

Soon I won't have to struggle putting on my Wellies just to go out to the trash bin

and best of all the pups won't have to be hauled into the tub after every trip outside for a pee or a poop.

Our laundry will move from two loads a day to one a week although this may be wishful thinking.

Hopefully our car will no longer have to carry the salt stains of humiliation where local kids can write "wash me" on our Ford Focus' back window.  Those huge clumps of black frozen goop that build up on our car's undercarriage just behind the wheels will be a thing of the past having melted in huge black puddles on the garage floor. 

It's now time to pull out the rakes and start scraping the decomposing leaves that cover the struggling blades of green underneath.

I will have to get back on the eight- foot ladder to clean out winter's shedding coniferous needles from under our expensive gutter guards. The ones that were once again supposed to prevent me from having to endanger my life from falling from the top step of our wobbly eight-footer. 

The annual plantings and exterior repairs will soon commence. We're constantly reminded that in our temperature zone a late frost can hit you where it hurts so as anxious as we are we don't want to get too ahead of ourselves.

I'll do the gutters. I'll sweep the garage floor. Maybe I'll do a little raking and keep my fingers crossed that the mud will soon transform into the brilliance of spring. 

THE GALLERY

Caravaggio Primavera, Cy DeCosse, photographer, represented by Obscura Gallery

THE COMFORT OF FOOD

 HEART AND BELLY WARMING DISHES

When I think of comfort food I turn to my Mother's creamy Macaroni and Cheese or her warm belly filling Chicken and Dumplings.  There's nothing so satisfying as recreating the smells of my mother's kitchen then giving my own family the enjoyment, pleasure and contentment of Rena's comforting kitchen.

Cooking up memories of our childhood when warmth and happiness came in the form of a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup - even good ole Campbell's in a can brings back fond memories.

Whether using American cheese, a sharp cheddar, or a combo of Gruyere and Fontina nothing satisfies my lunchtime hunger like a grilled cheese sandwich. If I'm not in my own kitchen then the next best place for a real grilled cheese sandwich is an old fashioned diner with a side of fries. Some people add ham or tomatoes, grilled onions or even apple slices but not me.

I'm a purist, well with one exception, instead of butter I use - wait for it - MAYO!  Yep mayonnaise and not just any mayonnaise it has to be either Hellman's if I'm up north in Yankee country (known as Best Brands on the west coast) or if down South, home of my birth, it's got to be Dukes mayonnaise.  Even the esteemed food writer Ruth Reichl the one time and last editor-in-chief of Gourmet magazine advocates using mayo instead of the traditional butter to sizzle her grilled cheese.  

In the heat of summer another favorite is a straight from the garden beefsteak tomato sandwich.  Perfectly picked tomatoes, plump and juicy bursting with summer flavor, a huge dollop of Hellmans or Dukes and yes the bread has to be a soft white variety, salt and plenty of fresh cracked black pepper and the only other thing I need is a nap on our deck in the cooling shade of the big Ash tree.

Back home in Georgia I can't remember a Thanksgiving, Christmas or Sunday dinner that didn't have a huge pan of bubbling Macaroni and Cheese.  In addition to the creamy, gooey, cheesy sauce my Mother would always on a heavy topping of grated cheddar.  Some people use buttered breadcrumbs mixed with the grated cheese to create a crunchier topping.

I can swing both ways with that one but the cheese has to be a good sharp cheddar. My Mother's secret was to add a good dollop of dijon mustard and when making the sauce she used one part milk and one part heavy cream. It's a wonder we weren't all the size of a baby elephant.

In the 1950's and 60's frozen foods and TV dinners were all the rage.  One of my favorites was Swanson's Chicken or turkey pot pie.  I think they cost s total of either 10 or 15 cents, real bargain food but when you're ten years old they were oh so yummy in the tummy.  Though frozen pot pies were easy and convenient as my cooking skills improved I quickly learned that nothing can beat a good homemade chicken pot pie for the title of ultimate comfort food.  I like mine with a Buttermilk Biscuit crust and my quick cheat is to use a supermarket rotisserie chicken and Better Than Bullion for the broth.

No list or post about comfort food would be complete without mentioning Meat Loaf and I'm not talking about the singer although "I would do anything for love" or for a good meat loaf.  Yes, Meat Loaf is an all-American standard and is as versatile as those who make it.  Whether you use beef, pork, lamb or a combination of meats,  if you bind with breadcrumbs or quick oats, mix in boiled or raw eggs, tomato sauce or tomato ketchup it's so easy to make Meat Loaf your own.

I have a confession - I have never made meat loaf, well maybe once but here I offer my Mother's recipe.  Mother always made hers freeform but I suggest a loaf pan, it's a little more structured and makes it easier to slice up the leftovers for sandwiches the next day.

And now the piece de resistance - dessert.  There are so many comforting sweets to end a meal or if you are like my Lee start off your morning on a sweet note.  Brownies, Devil's Food Cake, Rice Pudding, Bread Pudding ...all are good but in our house there are two favorites from the sweet list of comfort foods: Banana Pudding and Coca Cola Cake.  For years when I wanted to make Banana Pudding I'd continue to be convinced that only my sister had the secret recipe for the Shaver family Banana Pudding.  Finally one year when I called once again for her famous recipe she said with exasperation "Rick you know that the recipe is on the side of the Nilla Vanilla Wafers box"!  So no need to give the recipe here although I make my own vanilla pudding from scratch rather than using instant pudding as suggested on the cookie box because I'm a real cook.

Now finally the Coca Cola Cake.  Maybe this is a Southern thing I'm not sure.  I do know that Coke was invented in Atlanta, GA, with ingredients including a big dose of caffeine as well as a hit of cocaine, a legal additive at the time. It was first dispensed at the soda fountain of Jacob's Pharmacy, Mr Jacob having invented it.  I'm guessing the lines to get a seat at the fountain stretched quite a long ways once people started sampling the big "C" Coke with the little ''c" additive.   It was first bottled in Vicksburg, MS along with other beverages but the first plant dedicated to bottling Coke exclusively was in Chattanooga, TN.  I have a very personal relationship with Coca Cola.  First I was born and raised in a small town in Georgia just south of Chattanooga.  Second I attended Emory University in Atlanta and Emory was dubbed "Coke U" because Asa Candler who bought the secret recipe for Coca Cola endowed the university.  As a freshman living in a dorm there was a Coke machine on every floor where no coins were needed!  With that bit of history in mind here's the recipe for Coca Cola Cake.

THE CAKE

2 cups of all-purpose flour

2 cups of sugar

3 tablespoons cocoa

1 stick of butter

½ cup of vegetable oil

1 cup Coca-cola

½ cup buttermilk

1 teaspoon baking soda

3 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

Pre-heat your oven to 325 degrees. Mix together the flour, sugar and cocoa in a large bowl until evenly blended. In a separate pan bring to a boil the butter, vegetable oil, and Coca-cola. When it comes to a boil pour the liquid mixture over the dry mixture in the large bowl and mix well. Add the buttermilk, baking soda, eggs and vanilla and blend until smooth. Pour into a Bundt mold and bake for one hour. Check with a toothpick to make sure the cake is done and the toothpick comes out clean. Place the cake on a drying rack

THE FROSTING

1 stick butter

6 tablespoons Coca-Cola

3 tablespoons cocoa

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 box powdered sugar

In a sauce pan add butter, Coca-cola, cocoa and vanilla and bring to a boil for one minute. In another bowl add the powdered sugar then pour the boiled mixture over the powdered sugar and beat until smooth. Let this cool but not harden. Slip the cake out of the Bundt pan onto a platter or cake stand with lip. Drizzle the frosting over the cake. The lip on the platter/cake stand will prevent the icing from dripping off. Now if that doesn't make your teeth itch nothing will. But for me the cake will always remind me of my family and that will give me great comfort.

THE GALLERY

Big S. Everett, MA, 1980, John Woolf, photographer, represented by Robert Klein Gallery

BATHROOMS I HAVE KNOWN

 TOILETS AND OTHER HOUSEHOLD ESSENTIALS

If you thought I'd never stoop to publishing a post the equivalent of a Mel Brooks' fart site gag, well you're wrong and this post should prove it.

Before we left for New York we had one last dinner and a movie night that included all the essentials: Chinese takeout, paper plates and diet soda served on TV trays in front of the living room TV. Selecting something to watch continued to be a challenge. Things seemed so much easier before Roku and a never ending onslaught of streaming services. With so many choices it is almost impossible to get a majority vote on what we want to watch. The choice usually trends toward comedy or rom-com but this evening we went way afield with "Nomadland". Why we thought catching up on the buzz of an artsy independent film was the way to go I'm not sure but once committed there wasn't going to be any turning back. We all decided that anything with Francis McDormand in it would be a class act. In hindsight I think we might have miscalculated. We quickly discovered that living on the road out of your home on wheels was not necessarily a class act. I don't know that I will ever find the tutorial we received on the appropriate bucket size one needs to take along on the road relevant to any upcoming vacation I might be planning to take.  And if the tutorial on bucket sizes wasn't enough Ms McDormand taking an explosive diarrheal dump in full view and with all the accompanying audio was enough to put me off of road trips for the rest of my life. 

For some reason this then became a theme for my pandemicly isolated family. Right after the movie my sister sent me a link to a site filled with an additional list of bizarre bathrooms. Since my family now seems obsessed with their bathrooms I've decided I might as well go along with the flow.

Along with the traveling theme this one seemed the most ingenious for isolated outdoor traveling means to assist in taking care of business. It seems that all you need is a shovel and a dirt road. Although I'm a little spooked out by the neighboring car and tent in the background. I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be with the proximity of several pairs of inquisitive eyes.

Lack of privacy did seem to be an issue with many of the images I began finding while searching the net for more examples of non-traditional commodes. This one was a huge fail for me. I'm not sure what kind of stair traffic there might be here but without a door in sight for anyone to knock on I'm not sure if I'd want my hinnie that vulnerable to exposure to strangers or anyone else I might know.

I did find that sometimes an audience is required. Not sure if this throne is for the presenter or talent in some sort of show and tell. The only other option I could come up with is a classroom scenario where the dunce chair has been replaced with a much more humiliating one.

Europe has always had a more laissez-faire attitude toward personal hygiene. The first time I went to Europe was way back in my college days. I traveled on a shoestring staying in hostels. A fine meal was a loaf of bread, a wedge of cheese and bottle of the cheapest local wine I could find. It also meant public bathrooms were frequently the only option for when nature called. I was a quick learner to the squat method. A hole in the floor and no privacy partitions was not an unusual experience to have to navigate. I quickly learned to stock up on free napkins at fast food restaurants since toilet paper was also a luxury. This station certainly showed the most ingenuity.

Other examples actually straddled the line between vintage intrigue and absolute camp. Even Madonna couldn't manufacture a pair of torpedo tits like the ones you'd have to step on here in order to make your way to either the tub or the sink, although I do love the pink and grey motif.

As a man this one scares me to death. First you'd have to be an exact height to even make this possible. Too short or too tall and you'd be leaving a yellow trail on the floor and the wall and probably on the person standing next to you. Talk about perfect aim. I have enough trouble hitting a regular toilet bowl without splashing a little outside my intended target.

The exhibitionist in me was something I was able to embrace in my youth. When I lived in California I had no embarrassment in parading butt naked on the nude beaches of Malibu. This exposure was fine when I was in my twenties but as the years passed so did my free spirit. As a mature adult living in New York with means to leave above the shared roommate college digs we purchased a New York loft on  West 30th. The bathroom had a huge window in the shower that faced the front of the building. We were on the fifth floor so street traffic wasn't an issue but directly across from us was an office building with glass windows ringing each of its twelve floors. The show we put on started at eight sharp and lasted until the steam built up sufficiently blurring the view. 

Bathtub exhibitionism is one thing. Toilet usage is another.

I have to admit that my favorite room in a home is the bathroom. If I had the money to build my fantasy home the bathroom would be the most important room in the house. I've designed it in my head a hundred times. This bathroom isn't exactly the one I constructed in my head one marble slab at a time but it comes close. Playing with someone else's money is not a bad profession to be in... Unfortunately building dreams for others doesn't give the satisfaction of being able to luxuriate in the final product but it comes close to being totally satisfied without the worry of having to find the plunger.

THE GALLERY

Viktoria and Rainer in Car, Snedes Landing, New York, 2011, Rodney Smith, photographer, Represented by Robert Klein Gallery

SUPERMARKET BLOOMS

FLOWER OBSESSION

When we lived in New York full-time our go to resource for flowers was the flower district.  Today the once burgeoning district has now shrunk to a mere block residing mostly on West 28th Street between 6th and 7th Avenues.  In its heyday West 28th Street was still the main drag of the district but it also spilled out over the area from 33rd Street down to 24th Street spreading as far west as 9th Avenue. A sprinkling of additional floral wholesalers were scattered eastward beyond Broadway.

In the 1970's 28th Street was lit with early morning lights and a teaming flow of vendors pushing boxes of exotic and domestic flora well before 4am. Even though the city was experiencing one of its most vile periods the stench of the city was never able to overpower the scent of roses and lilacs.

Now that we split our time between NYC and Madison, WI we cannot always depend on a flower district a thousand miles away for our flower needs and desires.  The best regional flower wholesaler to our Midwest digs, Rojahns, is an hour and fifteen minutes away in Milwaukee. When a round trip floral run would take two and a half hours in travel time along with the time spent selecting and purchasing we're talking an entire day to take home a bouquet. Since flower markets do most of their business well before noon we are also talking about having to set the alarm for a time before the sun has decided to rise. Since our move to Madison we've been forced to find ways to be more resourceful in finding affordable flowers.

Here's some tips for how to be more resourceful when you find yourself in a secondary market. TraderJoe's is an excellent source. Though choices are limited, the price is right for a bunch of hydrangea in spring or a pot of chrysanthemums in autumn

But usually It's a quick trip to our local supermarket that fills our needs. In our area and I'm guessing that this holds true in most of the country supermarkets have now included a floral station usually positioned either near the entrance or by the cashiers since it's an impulse buy that we are not immune to fall for.

Lee prefers their large selection of affordable orchids,

buying several and arranging them in a beautiful grouping.

In the Spring I love large bunches of the simple bright yellow daffodils.

Another choice for a long-lasting pop of color is to buy a couple of pots of hyacinths or tulips containing multiple bulbs and create your own indoor garden by transplanting them into the container of your choice.

Many times the supermarket offers spray roses for as little as $5.00 a bunch. 

Our greatest resource in summer is our world-renowned farmers market that circles the square on every Saturday from April to November. There are cut flowers and arrangements from tiny nosegays to enormous hanging pots of petunias and ferns. 

This Summer I plan on bypassing some of our previous sources. I'm hoping to plant a cutting garden in raised metal beds we've installed in our back yard. I'm getting ready to start my seedlings in a grow garden complete with grow lights and warming mats. For this I'm usurping a portion of the laundry room. It's all a start and a new venture is sure to have its bumps but then what new endeavor isn't a huge learning process - wish me luck!

I've spent the Winter pouring over catalogs and ordering multiple packets of seeds.  Can't wait for Summer!

GALLERY

Francis Palmer, photographer

Shot at an exhibit at Wave Hill, the Bronx