Friday, August 12, 2022

HOW TO KNOW YOU'RE OVER THE HILL

2010

Back in 2010 after we had moved out of New York to Madison and were trying to re-establish ourselves I started this blog using a tag line that jested of already having reached the pinnacle of being over the hill. It was meant as an indictment about how we're now riding the down side of a rollercoaster and it's moving at mach speed. The upside of this is the thrill you get with the downward rush, the downside is the ride is over way too quickly. I thought the tag line was a bit tongue in cheek and then I worried that there might actually be more truth than fiction here. Here are some of the reasons why I was concerned a decade ago that we were perhaps sliding down that rollercoaster rather than ascending it:

1. When your fourteen year-old daughter smirks at your bare legs accusing you of shaving them and you have to explain how several decades of wearing too tight jeans has rubbed the hair of you leg. Nature's depilatory has finally won out and now my legs are as smooth as an octogenarian's bottom.

2. When you take off for the supermarket because you ran out of toilet paper and all you come home with is a box of double cream filled Oreos.

3. When you think Leslie Jordan is beginning to look pretty hot.

4. When you realize you haven't changed your underwear in two days and you don't care because you know nobody else will.

5. When you can't read the chyron on your 52" HDTV even with your glasses on.

6. When the guy next door asks your partner if he can meet his dad and the dad turns out to be you.

7. When you realize you bought your winter dress coat in 1982 and you don't consider it be vintage.

8. When you walk past a plate glass window and assume the reflection peering back at you is some old homeless person wearing your clothes

9. When you hear Phil on Modern Family refer to WTF as "why the face" and you don't get the joke.

10. When your partner of thirty years calls you from his colonoscopy and says he has cancer*.

*Twelve years later and still cancer free and perhaps I was wrong a decade ago. Maybe we're still ascending.


 

Wednesday, August 3, 2022

ASSISTED LIVING

MAKING PEACE WITH GROWING OLDER

I have a client. He calls his mother by her first name. He never says, "my mother" or "mom". She's ninety. She's tiny. She's frail, but she's feisty. She's a widow living in a post-war rambling classic six just off of Fifth Avenue. Age is creeping up on her.

They've removed the knobs from her stove in case she should forget to turn them off even though she no longer cooks. She has full time care. Her son visits her regularly and takes her to the park. He buys her books with large print that she reads but doesn't remember. She watches TV during the day on a chair she pulls up inches from the screen. She smiles a lot. She has opinions. 

Now her son and his brother have decided it's time to move her into an assisted living facility. She toured three with her son, each one in New York City. She chose the newest one. She seemed to respond to the luxury. It's close to Bloomingdales although she doesn't go out shopping much anymore.

It came with all the amenities. There is a yoga room, an art studio, beautiful lounges on each floor, a rooftop garden and the attention to service you would expect with a luxury facility in the heart of New York City. It will be harder to get to the park from here but the terrace is just down the hall from the penthouse apartment she and her son have picked.

The first time I came into the building there was a violin concert going on in the second floor main lounge. The calming classical music covered our footsteps as we made our way to the elevator taking us to the sixteenth floor and the new apartment.

My client opened the door to my challenge: an open area attached to two small rooms and a bath. The entry opened into a kitchenette with a refrigerator, cabinets and a sink but no stove. 

This, a completed bath and drapes on the windows were the only things provided. It rented empty and the tenants were required to furnish them themselves. The apartment had two smaller rooms intended to be two bedrooms for a shared apartment. My client wanted to give his mother more room and had asked me to transform these rooms into a bedroom and a living room.  The proportions were perfect for his tiny mother. Within a week the contract was signed with the facility and then another contract was signed between the client and us.

Work began immediately with drawings and layouts. With the signing of the contracts the clock began ticking. We needed to get his mother in the apartment as soon as we could. 

The easy part was coming up with a design. The hard part was finding in-stock or quick ship pieces that we could purchase to fill out the apartment. We were starting from scratch other than a few mementos to connect her to her past.

Art from her many travels with her husband were the connecting element to the new apartment and her past.
The timeline of completion was critical. We wanted to get her in the apartment as soon as possible.

We gave ourselves two months. Anything with a delivery time longer than eight weeks we would have to take off our list and find an alternative. Some how it worked.

The rooms are now full. She moves in at the end of the week. I've grown very fond of her. I'm hoping she will let me visit from time to time.