HOW MONEY LAUNDERING LED ME TO THE JAILHOUSE

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY

There's always an abundance of price points when it comes to consumer goods. You can pay less than ten dollars on a table lamp at Ikea or pay several thousand dollars for a custom-made lamp from a Beverly Hills designer. The term starchitect is wildly popular in urban areas where the name of Giorgio Armani or Frank Gehry can increase the price of a condo by a huge percentage.
Money is a big factor in any business but few industries are able to actually use money as the literal material for their creations. There are some furniture and product designers who are trying to turn some hard cold cash into their actual art. The most famous designer of money-based furniture would have to be Johnny Swing.

Google his name and hit the images button. His work transcends seating and takes on the mantle of sculpture. A couch made of 15,000 nickels and 35,000 welds undulates in soft curves like a Henry Moore sculpture. If Johnny ever made a sectional he'd have to hire a Brinks truck to keep thieves from running off with all that loot he substitutes for Dacron and birch. His ingenuity with his choice of materials is amazing but his worth as an artist far surpasses the value of all those coins.

Johnny has also designed a more attainable line of money based little moneymakers. Paper money inspired pillows and children's toys including this "must have" piggy-bank are some of his creations more likely to pay the bills.

One of last year's big movie moneymakers was "War Horse". Rachael Denny has taken the moneymaker part and created her own version of "War Horse" with an equestrian head made from flattened pennies.

Now that most money takes the form of plastic, "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" costume designer, Lizzy Gardiner, designed a gown made of expired American Express gold cards for her trip down the red carpet at the 1995 Oscars. It is exquisite when standing but I keep wondering if she was ever able to sit tied in by all those cards.

All these designers were able to put money where the mouth was and create fashion, furniture and fun out of what some of us like to horde and others like to spend. Money makes the world go round.











BLACK & WHITE STRIPES

Black and white stripes is a look you can get without having to commit a crime. Stripes have been a design motif popular with almost every design period ever created. I'm sure if you went back to look at a Neanderthal family cave you'd see stripes somewhere in their design aesthetic. It's a bold statement. There's not much more you can do in the realm of contrast besides pairing up black and white.

These stripes work a room the exact same way they work on your body. Make them run up and down and the space is going to look taller. It'll draw your eye up and make a low squat room look elongated. In fashion, wear your stripes vertically and it can shed ten pounds without having spent twenty minutes sweating out over a P90X DVD program.

Wear your stripes horizontally and you've created vastness where vastness may have never been before. Bathrooms are rarely the largest room in a home but adding a series of meticulously painted horizontal stripes to the walls makes this tiny space seem larger than it is.

The size of stripes can vary from the heavy kind that add structure to this wall increasing its visual load bearing capacity to the finer stripes shown here on a rug.

Try to image this room without the addition of those stripes. The winter scene from outside would have blown in and taken with it the beauty of this perfect scene.

At first glance the stripes in this entry can seem like a dizzying piece of Op Art but there's a Vasarely like quality here where the repetition of stripes circling the room from floor to wall to ceiling and back to wall creates a new dimension that propels you into the space with the kind of excitement you feel on the downward path of a rollercoaster ride.

We've even gotten into the act of using stripes and in an entryway as well. I'm stretching the black and white theme here to include our silver metallic horizontal stripes. I'm also breaking the stripe symmetry look and adding a bit of asymmetry to the way we applied our stripes. What you can't do with a level, a measuring stick and a roll of blue painters tape.

There's no subtlety in the use of stripes on this penthouse balcony. It boarders on ungapatchka but its traditional style and avoidance of fuchsia or canary yellow leave it with a certain elegance and accessibility.

But there are times when stripes lead a more accessorizing role in the décor of a room. Sometimes it's just enough to add that one bold element to take a room from bland to dynamic without keeping you up all night. The striped bench at the foot of this bed only enhances the restful nature of this bedroom. Its occupants have nothing to worry about or distractions fighting to keep them awake at night by the addition of these bold but controlled stripes.

THE GALLERY

My Fair Lady, Audrey Hepburn, 1963
Cecil Beaton, Photographer
Cecil Beaton Archive at Sothebys

I'M FEELING A LITTLE PINK TODAY

THINK PINK

Pink is a hard sell to most clients. Where a man is involved the sell can be even more difficult.. We try to hide incorporating pink into our presentations by calling it dusty rose, blush or coral, but eventually you have to come to terms with the fact pink is pink. There are a few designers who lay out a room with pink and demand the client love it.

If Jamie Drake says pink is the only color that will make a room sing, you need to believe him. His color sense to the interior design industry is as masterful as Josef Albers use of color is to the art world.

Anthony Baratta is another master of the interior design world whose sense of color is bright and joyous. He is almost solely responsible for making pink the signature of all those suburban Connecticutites out on the golf course swinging a four iron in pair of Ralph Lauren pink trousers. Here are some stories in pink.



GIRLIE PINK

When testosterone is out of the picture pink can hit the walls and the ceiling and the floors and everywhere else with wild abandon. Whether it's intrinsic or learned, little girls seem to have an affinity for pink. It's a color described by both timid and aggressive adjectives. It can by portrayed as sweet and innocent

but it can also be described as hot and sensual, not terms appropriately paired with pubescence and little girls. So why do we push this color on them.

But if you are forced to use it in your ten-year-old's suite, as long as you stay away from all those Barbie clichés, a girl's room in pink can be a thing of beauty. Try to use it sparingly with a pop here and a pop there. That way little Sarah can stretch the appeal of her room well beyond her Justin Bieber phase.

If you feel the need to fill the room with pink stay away from the themed motifs and stick to a design focusing on boldness, geometric shape, and rhythm like the striped room here where everything works and how a touch of aqua can cool off all that pink.









A PINK FOR ALL SEASONS

One can get away with pink in certain regions of the world a little easier than in some others. The warmer the climate the better those pinks seem to be tolerated. How do you think all those flamingos have been able to survive there for so long?

The tropics seem completely at ease with pink. It's a tougher sell in the north but not one that hasn't been done without success.

A rich traditional arrangement can help pull off a little pink. The traditional setting makes the pink seem elegantly regal.

By washing down the value of the pink, covering an entire sofa doesn't make the color seem over-powering. The colored water in the vases along with the flowers themselves and the throw pillows all help support the pink color thread that runs through this living room. Pairing it with a strong black also helps establish a balance in the room and neutralizing the effect.











PINK EVEN A MAN CAN APPRECIATE

Pink is a color when used in moderation even the most masculine of humans can live with it the way we did in our 30th Street condo. It may not be easy to turn the man cave into a symphony in pink but there are other tricks to getting a little pink into your living space.

One way is to pair it with a rustic envelope. This musician's atelier hints at pink by way of a very soft sell. The emphasis on comfort is evident here. Who wouldn't want to sink into that couch with their March Madness bracket in hand or sit on that slipper chair to pluck out a little Bob Dylan.

Another tack to take is to use a really rich shade of pink and put it in the library. Add some gold trim and bunch of books then get out the embroidered slippers and bottle of scotch. Liquor him up and the color won't matter.

When the lights are low and the mood is right many a manly man has allowed the boudoir to be dressed in pink. Beyond that a touch of pink here and there is a safe way to introduce a color very few people are ambivalent towards. You either love it or you hate. It's your turn to judge.













PINK GONE ALL WRONG

I try to mention the designer or source of anything I can identify that I put in the blog but here is one posting where anonymity is a better course of action. When pink goes amuck it can be a horrible thing indeed.

There are many allusions to pink that make you feel good: a child's cheek, cotton candy, or a perfect rose but there are a whole lot of additional images that give off a stomach churning reaction. Think of a Mary Kay pink Cadillac, a bowl of borsht, or Pepto-bismol.

To protect their reputations I'll leave off their names but these spaces would make even Dame Edna reach for the Pepto with vodka chaser.















THE GALLERY

Ueito, Tokyo, 2010
Christian Houge, Photographer
Represented by Ellen K. (post@ellen-k.no) Oslo, Norway

SOUTHERNERS AND INDIANS

BANANA PUDDING

Let this be a lesson - not everyone belongs in the kitchen. Emmy's end of the season basketball banquet was held on Saturday. All attending parents were asked to bring a dessert or appetizer and their own drinks. We signed up for desserts. Rick being from Georgia was an expert on banana pudding. I was presumptuous enough to think I could handle making the pudding; the recipe comes right on the side of the Nabisco Nilla Wafer box after all. The thing is it isn't in just having the right ingredients; it's really in having all those Southern puddin' makin' techniques at your fingertips. That's why I'm more like Lucy in the kitchen and Rick is a lot like Martha Stewart with a dash of Paula Dean, the good Paula Dean. When Rick got a stomach ache that put him in bed before seven o'clock on Friday nigh, the night before the banquet, the baking kind of fell on my shoulders. I thought, "what the heck" I had all the ingredients. How hard could it be?

Here are the ingredients for a single batch:
3/4 cup sugar (1/2 cup for the custard and a 1/4 cup for the meringue)
1/3 cup flour
Dash of salt
3 eggs, separated
2 cups milk
1/2 tsp. vanilla
45 Nilla Wafers
5 bananas, sliced
We rarely make banana pudding for ourselves so when we make it we go all out and triple the recipe to fill our big 12 inch vintage Bauer bowl.
Lesson One:
Read the directions thoroughly, don't skip reading them and don't skim them. Then read them a second time to make sure you understand everything. I had all my ingredients laid out. I had separated the eggs into yolks and whites which was quit an accomplishment for me. I dare anyone to find a speck of yellow in my whites. I got out the double boiler, filled the bottom with water and set that thing to boil, a roiling boil. Here's where panic snuck in and where not having a firm grasp on the directions was my giant step into disaster. The directions said to mix the flour, sugar, salt and egg yolks in the double boiler. It didn't seem right but I was too busy measuring to look at my directions one more time. If I had I might have seen that I was supposed to add the milk as well. It's amazing how fast egg yolks will congeal when there's no liquid in the pot. By the time I realized my mistake it was too late to salvage the mix. The problem with starting over was I was out of eggs. A ten o'clock run back to the grocery store was now my only option.

Lesson Two:
Know your equipment. Fortunately, the big box grocery stores are open 24/7. I picked up another dozen organic free-range eggs and went back to work separating my yolks from my whites. The directions said to do all the mixing in a double boiler. Those directions don't say a thing about how big a boil you should be using. I chose to set my fire on high. The directions said I should have real custard in ten to twelve minutes. I started with the milk this time, which wasn't quit right but not a big enough mistake to make me throw the custard out. I was going strong now stirring, scooping up the flour and sugar, adding the eggs one egg at a time, and stirring them in. In about four minutes my mixture was starting to thicken and then thicken some more. I had the sense enough to pull the double boiler off the oventop but my custard was starting to get pretty lumpy. The unfortunate thing about eggs is they continue to cook in a hot mixture even after you've removed them from the flame or in my case the electric coil. That's when I looked at my utensils. There was the half-cup measuring cup with a trace of sugar and a drop of milk floating around its bottom. Damn. I'd used the half-cup rather than the full cup. That meant I'd only used half the milk and half the sugar I was supposed to have put in the mix. No wonder my goose (or in this case custard) was cooked well before its designated ten-minute time frame. That was it. I'd have to wait until the morning and admit my ineptitude to my partner and beg for assistance and a demotion from chef to trainee.

Lesson Three:
Go to the expert to learn. At seven the next morning Rick got up refreshed and we began anew He set the boil at a low simmering boil, better for making custard. I had separated the eggs and put them in the refrigerator. Not a major mistake but I was told eggs blend better at room temperature, cream whips better cold. Who knew? He then set me to measuring out all the ingredients and putting them in separate bowls. What a brilliant idea. Have everything ready before you start dumping things in, I always thought the tv chefs did this because they had limited time to put their concoctions together. I didn't realize they did this so they wouldn't make stupid mistakes like I did trying to read a direction and measure an ingredient at the same time. He started with the flour, sugar and salt and then slowly blended in the milk and the eggs. He had me stirring the mixture with a figure eight motion. This way I could get all the stuff hiding in the crook of the pot. In ten minutes he had the creamiest, smoothest custard I'd seen in the past twelve hours.

We lined the bowl with Nilla Wafers, the flat surfaces facing out. Then we layered sliced bananas and custard, layer after layer until we reached the top of the bowl.

Rick then whisked up the meringue from the egg whites and remaining sugar. We baked the mixture for 15 minutes until the peaks on the meringue turned a golden brown, set the bowl out in the snow to cool it down and voila, a beautiful banana pudding.

We like to serve it cold. Some people like theirs served heated up. Either way, if Rick makes it, it's delicious.

















LAYING DOWN A RUNNER

We're living in a rental apartment about a mile from my mom's house in  order to look in after her as she travels through her journey with Alzheimer. The apartment is on three levels, the top two carpeted. The carpeting extends to the stairs leading from the ground floor to the main level. Wisconsin winters are harsh and the ensuing spring is brown and muddy. In March, when the weather is unable to make up its mind about being either icy and wet or soggy and muddy, our stairs tends to end up cluttered with debris dragged in on the bottoms of our wet and muddy shoes. No matter how many times you try to tell a fifteen-year-old to take their shoes off before coming up the stairs your plea usually falls on deaf ears, and since our dog, Buddy, has yet to learn much of the English language beyond" sit" and "get your ball" it's of very little use trying to get him to wipe his feet before he lumbers up the steps with his dirty paws. Our solution to this was to find a runner to mask as much of the ground-in dirt as we could. We searched high and low from our Home Depot box store to Ballard's catalogue but with no success.

Then about a week ago we were in another ten-acre hardware superstore looking for a bathroom vanity when Rick spotted a display of rag rugs. Made in India these rugs had enough color and pattern to hide a multitude of sins and the price was right: $2.99 a rug. We left our social consciousness at the door knowing full well these were probably made by Mumbai children working for ten cents a week but environmentally they were over 80% recycled cotton. The environment won out over our social issues this time around.

I'm sure the customers at Menards must have thought us completely insane as we took over a full aisle in the bathroom plumbing section laying out one dark and one light stretch of ten rugs each switching them around until we had the exact color mixes we were looking for. We bought a box of 1 3/4" roofing nails and we were set to have at it.

The rugs measured approximately 30" x 18", enough if laid lengthwise across a riser  for one rug to cover one whole step. Within an hour we had a country inspired runner made by a group of international artisans for under fifty bucks. Now, if a rug gets damaged it's out with the stained one and in with a new one at the extravagant cost of $2.99 plus tax. Not bad.











THE GALLERY

The Three Charmers, Holi, India
Poras Chaudhary, photographer

FIFE OR PHYFE?

DUNCAN PHYFE

One of our goals each time we get to New York is to take advantage of at least one cultural opportunity afforded by a city with culture to spare. We have established rules. We can not use a trip to the Club Monaco store to check out their newest men's collection as a way of having satisfied this obligation even though we've tried many times to justify this type of "cultural" enlightenment. Our past trip to the city was shorter than usual this time but we did manage to see Albert Nobbs and we did make it to the Met to see the Duncan Phyfe exhibit. The movie is a stretch in terms of having fulfilled our obligation but the Duncan Phyfe exhibit definitely gave us high cultural points.

I'm not fond of much of this late eighteenth/early nineteenth century movement in furniture design but when we walked into the American Wing and into the Phyfe exhibit I realized if I looked at the details of the work I could find reason to appreciate, no admire, the work of Duncan Phyfe.
Duncan Fife arrived in America in the early 1780's having crossed the Atlantic from Scotland as a rather poor immigrant. His family settled in Albany where Duncan learned his craft. By 1791 he had moved to New York City, set up his own shop and changed his name from Fife to Phyfe. Branding was as important in the early 19th century as it is now. Trading an "F" for a more sophisticated "Ph" attracted a deeper pocketed clientele. It was his way of putting the polo player on his dining room chairs. For almost 50 years the Duncan Phyfe factory produced furnishings for Northeast, Mid-Atlantic and wealthy Southern customers. The exhibit at the Met covers three distinct periods of furniture design as imagined by the craftsmen at Phyfe.

The first phase of Duncan Phyfe's body of work is a blending of the English Neoclassical and Regency styles. This was the over-the-top style that helped establish him as the "pinnacle of taste and sophistication" in interior furnishings in a relatively new America. Defined by references to the antiquities, and lots of gold-leafing these pieces were by far my least favorite. But if you took the time to look at some of the detailing you could find very refined reeding running along the sides of his chairs and really amazing proportion in the way he turned a leg with its elongated foot and fluted ribbing.

As if the ornamentation of the Neoclassical and Regency styles was not enough the second phase of Duncan Phyfe's work brought in the Rococo and Greek Revival movements popular on the continent. His craftsmanship was superb but all the marble inlay and lion headed feet were too much for me.

There were an abundance of "Pier" tables on display as examples of this phase in the Phyfe timeline. Looking like an entry console to me the derivation of the name "Pier" came from the mirror placed at the bottom back of the table. This I learned from Rick whose knowledge of historic furniture design is encyclopedic. Apparently due to the floor length dresses that were the fashion of the time the mirror served as a way for ladies to check their hems. No woman of the time would want an uneven hem, or a bit of slip showing or, God forbid, an exposed ankle. It may have been modesty or the need to protect their vanity that told someone it might be more delicate to at the least change the spelling from "peer" to "pier" From there on out any reflective surface acquired the moniker of "pier". Maybe in today's culture JLo should have used a "Pier Mirror" before she decided to walk out Oscar night exposing one areola for all the children to see.

It was so nice to see Duncan mellow in his last phase of production. His Gothic Revival mixed with American Empire style saw a toning down of ornamentation into some of the most beautiful pieces of furniture I've seen. Here, material and proportion won out over gilding and mythic animal heads.

The crowning piece at the end of the last gallery was this beautiful cabinet. I got caught taking a picture of this elegant piece with my flash and had to leave the gallery in shame and embarrassment. There were plenty of tourists feigning foreign accents leisurely walking through the exhibit with their cell phones nonchalantly held at their waists discretely video taping the entire exhibit.

I guess if I want to see the detailing I so admired I'm going to have to buy the catalogue of the exhibit, Duncan Phyfe: Master Cabinetmaker in New York. It's on sale through amazon,
Thank you Duncan for fulfilling our monthly cultural obligation.










WORDS FOR THE WISE

This weeks word: Klismos
Klismos refers to a type of chair attributed to the Greeks. The chair is defined by a soft curving back that s-curves through the seat and then down to the curve of its legs. The French resurrected the form with their Directoire style followed by the English and their English Regency and finally incorporated by us with our American Empire versions.

ACCESS NYDC

The New York Design Center recently instigated a new program called, "Access to Design". It's a service they are making available to the general public to help take away some of the mystery of the "to-the-trade" building, how it works and how a designer can help guide you through the process of utilizing the building. A stable of around thirty designers were selected to participate as design advocates. Laura Kirar, Chris Coleman, and Laura Bohn are among the selected designers. As an advocate, the designer is responsible for manning the Access room at least once a month to meet clients wanting design help and/or access to the building and the showrooms.

We feel very fortunate to have been selected as one of the design teams for "Access to Design". Please check out our page on the Access website: http://nydc.com/www/index.php/design_services/access_to_design

THE GALLERY

Pont des Arts, Paris, 1987
Michael Kenna, Photographer
Represented by Robert Mann Gallery