THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD
Leaving any place during a vacation can be bittersweet. Our departure was no exception. Our vacation was now mostly viewed in our rearview mirror in this case from a rental car that will end up having its own story. I have a feeling by this time everyone thinks we're a clown car just destined for a wreck; three stooges all tripping over ourselves and running into each other every chance we get. Okay, enough of the car analogies. This morning no one was interested in breakfast. We all decided we'd deal with that once we were safely out on the Autostrada, as if anyone can really feel safe on a road with no speed limits and a total disregard of lane lines. Packing is a major event for us that is always filled with anxiety, mostly by me. I am always well prepared with everything put in place before either Rick or Emmy have begun the process of gathering together their belongs. That means every sock, every precisely folded button-down collar shirt and every pair of underwear folded in thirds and then in half will have been layered into my bag in a calculated jigsaw puzzle formation as I now wait nervously for the two of them to have at it. Emmy is a shover. She shoves everything including five pairs of shoes one of which is a pair of ten pound Doc Martins into the largest suitcase the airlines will allow. If she can get the zipper closed well then she's done. Rick rests somewhere in between frustration and chaos. I'll let him tell his own story.
We were all set and on time for our planned departure from Hotel Club Due Torri. I had called for the car and that's when that devil diarrhea struck. I'm not going to say which one of us but I was designated as the one to run to the pharmacy for massive quantities of Imodium. Our departure was detained but we were determined to get on the road even if we all had to put on Depends to do it. We'd kept the car under the care of the hotel deciding that driving anywhere that wasn't an absolute necessity was just fine, but now we'd have to try to once again clutch our sissy bars and tackle the winding roads of the Amalfi.
We were doing fine and had almost made it to the halfway point of an hour long decent when Rick's comatose state catapulted him out of his stupor and into panic mode. "Did the lady at the desk give us back our passports?". "SH*T!!!" You have no idea of how hard it is to find a place where you can pull off or much less attempt to do a three point turnaround. These roads are so tight you need to suck in your gut to make room every time a car comes hurtling at you from the opposite direction. I have no recollection of how we did this with all three of us having the beginnings of our own diarrhea attacks but we did somehow manage to pull off to the edge so we could pull out our document bag flinging everything out until we did find we had our passports all the time. Tragedy avoided.
The only other thing to slow our journey to the Autostrada was a herd of sheep being sheparded through a tiny town blocking traffic in both directions. It was a traffic jam we fully enjoyed.
The Autostrada is famous for its rest stops appropriately called AutoGrills. The food is fresh and surprisingly good. We felt our stomaches had eased enough from the rollercoaster ride the Amalfites call a road to bit into crusty sandwiches of tomato, prosciutto and mozzarella di buffalo. Emmy and Rick washed there's down with Cokes
while I chose a Magnum bar, the first and only one I had on this trip.
The directions to our Best Western Airport Hotel, curtsey of GoogleMaps were accurate this time but the hotel wasn't quite where I expected it to be. You hardly ever find a decent area around an airport anywhere in the world. The street in Fiumicino where the hotel was located was an industrial and low rent area but the hotel was set off from the street and surprisingly very nice.
It was decided that our first item of business was going to be to take care of our Covid tests required by the airlines for our flights back to JFK. After dropping off our bags the concierge gave us directions to a pharmacy close by that we could drive to to get our tests. There was another American couple standing outside the hotel trying to convince a cab driver to take them to the same place and the cab driver seemed to be giving them a hard time. Rick went over and asked them if they would like to ride along with us. The five of us piled into our car and off we went.
There was a very nondescript church next to the testing site. While we waited for our test results I went inside. I did a little prayer for three negative results. I figured, what the heck, it couldn't hurt. We were all negative. Somebody was listening to me, no one in our little family of three was gong to have to isolate here next to an airport for any extended time.
Our next task before taking a dip in the pool was to drop the car off. My driving days in Italy were coming to an end. We dropped Rick off at the hotel and Emmy and I took the car back to the Avis Rental office at the airport. We'd been this same drop off point many times before so finding it wasn't too difficult. I had Emmy take a picture of the shuttle schedule so we'd know how and when to get back to the hotel. Just when you think the stress of travel had finally left fate gives you just one more punch in the gut. Either we never saw it when we rented the car or someone had bumped us somewhere while the car was parked at one of the various places we had been but there on the driver's side back bumper was the tiniest little scrap. A scrap I could almost brush off with my finger. A scrap I'm sure we had nothing to do with sense I'm such an excellent driver. The attendant who was trying to be helpful but at the same time having to do his job told us he'd have to report it. That insignificant little scrap tapped out at an $800. This part of the story has ended yet. Typical Italy, the shuttle never materialized. We took a cab back,
and we never made it into the pool.
We didn't know what to expect but after last night's disastrous dinner we had our fingers crossed we wouldn't be leaving Italy on the heels of a bad eating experience. Our only hope was the hotel, a Best Western, not known for its culinary prowess in the United States but surprisingly, here, they didn't let us down.
We started out with an appetizer of sautéed zucchini florets stuffed with ricotta and wrapped in bacon that were some of the best I've had.
Emmy and I played it safe with Tonnarelli Cacio e Pepe, a clear favorite for the entire trip and tried in every city we visited.
Rick opted for a Scialatielli in a light cream sauce with an assortment of frutti di mare. This was all served with a decent bottle of Rose, a bad end of trip eating experience averted.
Tomorrow the last packing job before we head on back to New York begins after what I hope will be a good nights sleep and then a trauma free exit. We'll see.
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