ITALY SPRING 2022 - THE FINAL GOODBYE

 ALL JOURNEYS MUST COME TO AN END

This is the hardest blog to write if for no other reason than I'm exhausted - exhausted from travel, exhausted from jet lag, exhausted from writing. 

I thought I was going to finish and put a period on our trip by writing about the final trip, the trip home. I was going to write about the ride to the airport and how we missed the first shuttle, how we panicked when we thought we hadn't filled out the right forms for entry, how we switched our luggage plan at the last minute and how we were the last ones to get on the plane to JFK because we were too stupid to know how long it took to get from the Ana lounge to the gate especially when you think you have time to stop in Duty Free for a bottle of Armani "You" cologne. 

But now it doesn't matter because we're back and when you're back and all your luggage made it, and you got the right forms and filled them out correctly and even though we didn't get the cologne we did make it home with way more than a t-shirt saying "I went to Italy and all I got was a case of homesickness".

Cosi questo e` arrivederci

And now I'll say it in pictures

ITALY SPRING 2022 - CARS AND PLANES BUT NO BOATS

 THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD

Leaving any place during a vacation can be bittersweet. Our departure was no exception. Our vacation was now mostly viewed in our rearview mirror in this case from a rental car that will end up having its own story. I have a feeling by this time everyone thinks we're a clown car just destined for a wreck; three stooges all tripping over ourselves and running into each other every chance we get. Okay, enough of the car analogies.  This morning no one was interested in breakfast. We all decided we'd deal with that once we were safely out on the Autostrada, as if anyone can really feel safe on a road with no speed limits and a total disregard of lane lines. Packing is a major event for us that is always filled with anxiety, mostly by me. I am always well prepared with everything put in place before either Rick or Emmy have begun the process of gathering together their belongs. That means every sock, every precisely folded button-down collar shirt and every pair of underwear folded in thirds and then in half will have been layered into my bag in a calculated jigsaw puzzle formation as I now wait nervously for the two of them to have at it. Emmy is a shover. She shoves everything including five pairs of shoes one of which is a pair of ten pound Doc Martins into the largest suitcase the airlines will allow. If she can get the zipper closed well then she's done. Rick rests somewhere in between frustration and chaos. I'll let him tell his own story.

We were all set and on time for our planned departure from Hotel Club Due Torri. I had called for the car and that's when that devil diarrhea struck. I'm not going to say which one of us but I was designated as the one to run to the pharmacy for massive quantities of Imodium. Our departure was detained but we were determined to get on the road even if we all had to put on Depends to do it. We'd kept the car under the care of the hotel deciding that driving anywhere that wasn't an absolute necessity was just fine, but now we'd have to try to once again clutch our sissy bars and tackle the winding roads of the Amalfi. 

We were doing fine and had almost made it to the halfway point of an hour long decent when Rick's comatose state catapulted him out of his stupor and into panic mode. "Did the lady at the desk give us back our passports?". "SH*T!!!" You have no idea of how hard it is to find a place where you can pull off or much less attempt to do a three point turnaround. These roads are so tight you need to suck in your gut to make room every time a car comes hurtling at you from the opposite direction. I have no recollection of how we did this with all three of us having the beginnings of our own diarrhea attacks but we did somehow manage to pull off to the edge so we could pull out our document bag flinging everything out until we did find we had our passports all the time. Tragedy avoided.

The only other thing to slow our journey to the Autostrada was a herd of sheep being sheparded through a tiny town blocking traffic in both directions. It was a traffic jam we fully enjoyed.

The Autostrada is famous for its rest stops appropriately called AutoGrills. The food is fresh and surprisingly good. We felt our stomaches had eased enough from the rollercoaster ride the Amalfites call a road to bit into crusty sandwiches of tomato, prosciutto and mozzarella di buffalo. Emmy and Rick washed there's down with Cokes

while I chose a Magnum bar, the first and only one I had on this trip.

The directions to our Best Western Airport Hotel, curtsey of GoogleMaps were accurate this time but the hotel wasn't quite where I expected it to be. You hardly ever find a decent area around an airport anywhere in the world. The street in Fiumicino where the hotel was located was an industrial and low rent area but the hotel was set off from the street and surprisingly very nice.

It was decided that our first item of business was going to be to take care of our Covid tests required by the airlines for our flights back to JFK. After dropping off our bags the concierge gave us directions to a pharmacy close by that we could drive to to get our tests. There was another American couple standing outside the hotel trying to convince a cab driver to take them to the same place and the cab driver seemed to be giving them a hard time. Rick went over and asked them if they would like to ride along with us. The five of us piled into our car and off we went.

There was a very nondescript church next to the testing site. While we waited for our test results I went inside. I did a little prayer for three negative results. I figured, what the heck, it couldn't hurt. We were all negative. Somebody was listening to me, no one in our little family of three was gong to have to isolate here next to an airport for any extended time.

Our next task before taking a dip in the pool was to drop the car off. My driving days in Italy were coming to an end. We dropped Rick off at the hotel and Emmy and I took the car back to the Avis Rental office at the airport. We'd been this same drop off point many times before so finding it wasn't too difficult. I had Emmy take a picture of the shuttle schedule so we'd know how and when to get back to the hotel. Just when you think the stress of travel had finally left fate gives you just one more punch in the gut. Either we never saw it when we rented the car or someone had bumped us somewhere while the car was parked at one of the various places we had been but there on the driver's side back bumper was the tiniest little scrap. A scrap I could almost brush off with my finger. A scrap I'm sure we had nothing to do with sense I'm such an excellent driver. The attendant who was trying to be helpful but at the same time having to do his job told us he'd have to report it. That insignificant little scrap tapped out at an $800. This part of the story has ended yet. Typical Italy, the shuttle never materialized. We took a cab back,

and we never made it into the pool.

We didn't know what to expect but after last night's disastrous dinner we had our fingers crossed we wouldn't be leaving Italy on the heels of a bad eating experience. Our only hope was the hotel, a Best Western, not known for its culinary prowess in the United States but surprisingly, here, they didn't let us down.

We started out with an appetizer of sautéed zucchini florets stuffed with ricotta and wrapped in bacon that were some of the best I've had.

Emmy and I played it safe with Tonnarelli Cacio e Pepe, a clear favorite for the entire trip and tried in every city we visited. 

Rick opted for a Scialatielli in a light cream sauce with an assortment of frutti di mare. This was all served with a decent bottle of Rose, a bad end of trip eating experience averted.

Tomorrow the last packing job before we head on back to New York begins after what I hope will be a good nights sleep and then a trauma free exit. We'll see.

ITALY SPRING 2022 - ALMOST TIME TO CHECK IN

TIME TO SAY ARRIVERDERCI

The best part of traveling is sharing it with the ones who matter to you. Sitting at dinner tonight we quizzed each other on things like what was the name of the winery where we did the wine tasting, who was the first to go in the pool or what was your best meal, We had answers for some but not all. That's why I do these blogs. They press the details of our travels into words that we can use to recount exactly where we first had pici al cacio e pepe, or the name of the  store that still holds the painting I'd like to come back for. It takes the burden off of an aging memory and lets me relive the "what, where's and yes that really did happen's" of our trips.

My family appreciates the scrapbooks I assemble using the bits of ephemera we've collected along the way, some sketches of places we've been and prints from all the pictures I've taken but it's the words that define the final story.

Today is our last full day in Maiori. The day started out overcast and cool. Emmy and I continued our ritual of breakfast on the roof. I chose the pancakes and Emmy chose the scrambled eggs and a platter of cold meats that were part of the included breakfast that in our reservation we chose to ignore. My pancakes lived up or down to my expectations of high design with little substance. Emmy's breakfast fared about the same. But my macchiato served in an tall glass would be what would keep me going for the day. 

Emmy and Rick decided to wait out the haze enveloping the beach by staying in the room reading or listening to podcasts while I went exploring.

I hadn't fallen in love with the seaside towns of the Amalfi Coast. Popularity has hidden much of its old world charm with a midcentury building boom of nondescript apartment buildings and hotels that now look dingy and depressing.

What I discovered in my walk was if you walk deep enough into the area beyond the beaches and up into the cliffs there's a lot of soul still there.

There's a church that dominates the night lit up giving a dot on the landscape to anchor yourself as to where you are. My goal was to see if I could find it.

Once you're into the streets and alleys that spider web out from the beach the height of those worn buildings obscures the churches dome making it hard to find.

It turned out getting lost in the web was an ecclesiastical blessing since my initial wandering took me to a less famous church but one with artifacts the superstitious or irreverent would appreciate. I include myself on the later.

The mutilated Jesus resting under a shroud

in front of an illustrated marble stone imbedded in the floor showing a group of hooded men was a real dichotomy of the ultra religious and the scarily racist. 

The fortuneteller with her mini-me on the other side of the alter added another supernatural aura to this temple of god.

And to top it off there was a diorama of the birth of Christ canopied with a blue plastic tarp to protect it from a leak in the roof. But by far the scariest scenario in the diorama was the woman in the foreground being taken down by the priest in his vestments. I didn't run out of here but I certainly watched my back as I left.

I followed my nose from the haunting church of the shrouded Christ toward where I believed I'd run into the Duomo I'd been looking for.

What I discovered was an amazing ancient architecture covered in a patina of decay washed in weathered pastels and rust.

Alley ways no wider than a donkey's ass inter-connected the broader streets. These were the paths I followed until I finally found my way to the Duomo I had originally set out to find.

Inside was another glorious dome and oculus emanating from the intersection of four arched naves. There seemed to be no security at all in either one of these churches.

You could walk through each one and peek into their private offices even opening closets filled with the priest's vestments. I thought of trying one on but then I demurred. 

It turned out the way to the church had been right where I started. I had gone around in a complete circle but if I  hadn't I wouldn't have discovered the aged architecture of the original agricultural core of Miaori.

That night we were looking to close out our trip with one final meal of distinction. We chose a restaurant with high online praise only to find out it must have been written by the owner. You never want to end a vacation on a bad meal but when the frutta da mare arrived looking as if it came from a defrosted frozen meal packet we had to admit defeat.

Here's hoping we can find something near the airport in Rome to fly away on a better note.

 

ITALY SPRING 2022 - THE AMALFI

 ONE LAZY DAY

Your first day anywhere is an adjustment. It's the day you get the kinks out, learn the lay of the land and begin the process of acclimation. When you are only spending two full days and a couple of half days in a place like we are on the Amalfi Coast you have to work fast to not feel like a foreigner in a strange land. 

We started off with breakfast. When we booked our hotel we did it without including breakfast. For us this is the way we roll. We never know until we can smell the bacon of that morning if we are all going to have breakfast or not. It may be all of us or a few of us. Or if the night before turns out to have been a rough one no one might have the energy to face a plate of scramble eggs and maple syrup. So why pay for something you're not sure if you are going to use. Today it was going to be just Emmy and me. Rick's stomach did not want to participate. Each hotel has its own way of serving and this one was particularly difficult to figure out. The normal procedure is to come in and then be seated by a breakfast host who notes your room number and offers you their variety of coffees. Here we sat ourselves and went to the buffet area without any sort of introduction. I'm more of a sweets person but Emmy only goes for savory. The buffet was impressive but there were no braziers of cooked meats or egg dishes to choose from. Disappointment was written across her face. There was an a la carte menu on the table and it did include several items like eggs benedict and an meat or cheese platter. I'm using the word platter generously as the portions for everything at this hotel are for the faint of eating. When the waiter arrived at our table he began explaining what was included in the prepaid breakfast. Here's where we learned that at this hotel the hot and savory part of the menu is something you order, it is not set out on the buffet perhaps for fear someone might overstock their plate. At tomorrow's breakfast, should we decide to participate, we'll know now how it works. That's one lesson learned. 

Now for the beach, the blurb on hotels.stilla$$holes explained how the hotel had access to its own private beach. This was sort of true. You could access two beaches through the hotel. You paid the hotel for this privilege: 25 euros each day you wanted to use the beach for an umbrella and two lounge chairs. Because there were three of us and they wouldn't do halvsies we paid 50 euros and secured two umbrellas and four chairs. The hotel also provided you with towels for which you paid 10 euros per towel that was refunded when you returned them. Lesson two complete.

The beaches at Maiori are beautiful. The Mediterranean aqua blue waters are almost as calm as glass, I'm guessing due to the bay like curve of the coast here in Maiori. The Italians use way to many vowels every chance they get. We chose our position on the third tier of umbrellas away from the water. This was lesson three and we learned this by chance and not by experience.

The beach is not a fine sand beach; it's a course sand that turns into small rocks and then larger rocks the closer you get to the water. Our position was right on the edge of sand becoming small rock, the kind although smooth still makes you wince when you walk on it. It meant we were on comfortable although hot sand and those in front of us had to do the bunny hop every time they stood up and tried to hot foot it on the pebbles on their way into the water. 

We had arrived around 10:30 deciding we'd stay out until one-ish and then go to lunch. All we all wanted was pizza. This became lesson number four. Lunch at almost every place we tried required a reservation. The best I could do with any eateries that didn't look as if they prepared their meals in a microwave was a 2:30 seating for three. We were way too hunger.

We ended up defeated and opted for a place advertising pizza and burgers with plastic chairs and no pretentions. Turned out the piazza was classic and I think even Prue from the Great British Baking Show would have approved. I guess that's lesson four and a half.

Once back at the hotel both Rick and Emmy napped through most of the rest of the afternoon. It wasn't until just before dinner that they both roused. After showering Rick and I went to the restaurant's lounge for a drink. Lesson five: I'm not sure if I'd order another Limoncello spritzer. I was hoping for the smooth sweet taste of the Limoncello but it was way too tart for me.

Lesson six and probably the most important one of all is one we really didn't learn here but one we always rely on when we're traveling: ask for anything with a smile and always learn the words in the native tongues of the country you are visiting for "please" and "thank you". It will get you through many a hard time. This is how we scored reservations at the Torre Normanna restaurant, a seven hundred year old watch tower jutting out into the bay. The smile bought us the help of our concierge. A "grazie" got us an 8:30 table for three overlooking the bay as the sun was doing its final decent.

Here's our dinner:

Appetizers for Rick and Emmy: Six delicious succulent and salty oysters each served cold with slices of Amalfi lemons

My appetizer was a puff pastry stuffed with cod and burrata on a pool of Provolone dei Monaco fondue. Apparently it was so good I must have dived in before I could remember to take a picture

Rick's main course was a seared sea bass sautéed in lemon and capers with a dressing of broccoli and julienne fried leeks.

Emmy chose a pasta for her main course, a handmade scialatielli in a fresh tomato, garlic, olive oil and parsley sauce and then ladened with mussels, assorted clams, shrimp and scampi.

For my main course I went for a local sea bream filet in a lightly herbed broth with olives, capers and vegetables topped with a crisp bread cracker 

Once again and I'm not sure if it was the wine that did it but my delicious dessert went the way of my appetizer without the honor of a photograph of its own

The last lesson, number seven, is to enjoy. We have always made travel a priority. In the TAP Airline lounge in Lisbon there's a saying by Saint Augustine painted on the wall that reads: " The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page". It's a lesson that for us is the reason for living, that and gelato.